An honest response to “A Guide to CU Boulder”
Yesterday when I was gathering myself early in the morning after a night of consuming some of the finest edibles my local dispensary had to offer; I stumbled on a great blog written by Emstepanian. The Blog “A Guide to CU Boulder” gives hilarious descriptions of all the great things that the university has to offer its students from the cluster fuck parties to enjoying picturesque hikes at Chautauqua. I’m from the Boulder area, trust me, I know how nice Boulder is and how breathtaking the Flatirons are. I’m never going to deny that. I just want to go over a few things that could be helpful in distinguishing CSU as a place where you can enjoy all of the exact same things as CU Boulder except you don’t have to deal with some random herds of GDI’s in skater beanies and girls with crop tops and A1’s screaming at the top of their lungs asking where the blow is at every party.
I’m not here to rip CU a new one, I got better things to do with my time. I wanna sit here and value your time and let you know why I even care about making sure these things are talked about correctly. For so long students think that there is all of this animosity and “Beef” when there is absolutely no reason for it to be there anymore. The Rocky Mountain Showdown is the worst rivalry in College football. It hosts the best tailgate of the whole season even if the game is a blowout by halftime. The amount of random drunk BS that is said back and forth is all the built-up rage because both programs are complete shit. We need to spend more time roasting each other about which school parties harder and who has the most attractive women; not who is gonna finish last in the Mountain West or Pac-12 because let’s be honest, both teams are probably going to finish with less than 5 wins.
Game Days in Boulder are insane when they’re ranked and that almost convinced me to go but sadly, they’re only ranked every 20 years. If you’re somebody like me who prioritizes having a school that funds their Academic Programs instead of pumping millions of dollars into a Football program that’s been a complete failure over the last 25 years, CSU is the place for you. I’m not trying to say CSU is perfect because a team that hasn’t won the Mountain west since I was in Pre-school doesn’t deserve a brand-new stadium. Until CSU can beat CU and win the Mountain West they should be forced to play on the pile of dirt where Hughes stadium used to be.
Both schools aren’t perfect by any means, but CSU is just better. Obviously, if you like getting hammered every second of your free time and you have this crazy urge to do develop a coke problem and lose a bunch of weight then going to CU boulder is a perfect fit. I will say though, CU has way better Dining hall food, I will give them that. There are great reasons to go to school in Boulder, but Fort Collins will never be overlooked when you’re comparing the 2. Horse tooth rock is a way better view than the top of Chautauqua and the bars in Old Town make the bars in Boulder look just as bad as their Microbreweries. Avery had to copy New Belgium when they gave us Old Aggie, it was too good of an idea not to steal.
At the end of the day, both schools are great and provide some of the finest things that nature has to offer. Beer flows like water and when the world isn’t dealing with Corona, the parties are filled with the most beautiful women the entire Mountain Time Zone has to offer.
